For the longest time, I felt shame that I was a late bloomer... a mistake-maker... a risk-taker.
All I wanted was to be “normal.” For the first 30 years of my life, everywhere I looked I found confirmation that I was different and not in a good way.
Not to toot my own horn here, but --
Wait. LMAO, j/k. I’m awesome -- of course I’m going to toot my own horn.
On a normal day in 2006, I woke up. My eyes opened quietly and I realized with horror that I was living someone else’s life. I was married to a man I barely liked, working a dead-end job in the same Midwestern town I was born in, and trapped under years of “shoulds” and “this is how things are dones.”
As of 7:41 a.m. today, I am a recovering marketing executive.
This morning, I withdrew my candidacy for an executive position that would have paid me nearly six-figures. The closer I got to the offer, the more I knew what I needed to do: withdraw. The position included frequent work-sponsored trips to locations all over the world.
Today, I manifested exactly what I didn’t want to happen.
I woke up in a FUNKtastic mood. I was tired. I knew I had a solid day of calls + videos ahead of me.
By 24, I had flunked college, married the first boy that looked at me, and gotten a divorce - a big deal in a small Midwest town.
By 26, I was the head of marketing for an international hospitality company, writing a blog followed by thousands, remarried to the dashing and sexy-as-hell love of my life, and living in beautiful sunny San Diego
In my 20s, I gave away a three-bedroom home, two cars, my life savings, all of my furniture, and my cat. I did this for one reason and one reason only: guilt.
Today, I experienced my worst nightmare. 🙄
Okay, maybe that’s me being dramatic, but as a control freak, I can tell you that operating in faith and then everything falling apart is pretty much Freddie Krueger territory for me.
In 2014, I owned a thriving business that made me good money. I had customers all over the world and even celebrities wearing my products. It was awesome, except I HATED it. I’d become a slave to my business.