In my 20s, I gave away a three-bedroom home, two cars, my life savings, all of my furniture, and my cat. I did this for one reason and one reason only: guilt.
You probably can guess, but I’ll tell you. Yes, I did this for love. If you want an example of what NOT TO DO, you’re about to get one.
(Here’s my story…)
I didn’t love him. I married him, I’d done all the stuff I thought I was supposed to do. But, what it came to was I didn’t love my husband.
I wanted to, but also, I wanted to survive. And, while I do still believe that I could have grown old with him, it would have been only my body aging. Everything else would have died inside me.
And, so I knew I had to leave him.
But, I felt guilty.
HORRIBLY guilty, because all my husband wanted was to maintain the life we’d built together.
And, all I wanted was OUT.
We were doing pretty well. We owned a nice home, had nice cars. We had lots of stuff. We had a lot of money in the bank.
I gave him everything. I gave him every single thing I had.
And, I did that because I felt guilty.
Do you know what it really means when we say, “I feel guilty?” It means, “I don’t deserve.”
Deep down, I felt unworthy of a life that was more than what I had with him. I felt unworthy of real love. My parents never had real love. I don’t think my grandparents ever had real love. My aunts? Uncles? Anyone???
And, so I set out to pay the highest possible price I could think of: everything.
I gave him everything.
I didn’t have to do that, but I did because in my mind the only thing that could possibly assuage the feelings of guilt I had was for me to suffer.
That September day when I walked away for good, I left with nothing.
Well, that’s not true, I left with a massive mindset block that said that I could have wealth and security…
OR, I could have real love.
And I got it… within 27 days of my divorce, I met the love of my life.
Once I gave away all of my wealth, my either/or mindset allowed me to access real love.
So, in a backwards way, giving away all my stuff was the best thing I ever did.
But, that’s certainly NOT the takeaway here.
Through a helluva lot of mindset work, I recognized my block and realized that there is no rule that says you must choose between wealth and love. I can choose both.
And, once I realized that, I suddenly started making six-figure months and lived happily ever after.
Wait, no. Just kidding. That’s not how that works.
The point of this story is to tell you what happened AFTER the mindset shift.
What happened after was the only real magic that ever occurs in life…
What happened next was action.
You can do all the mindset work in the world, but that won’t give you all of what you need to feel confident, joyful, or secure. Likewise, no matter how much money mindset work you do, it won’t make you money.
The only thing that helps you feel like the secure, confident woman you want to be is action.
The only thing that will put money in your pocket is action.
Mindset work is hard, sure, but it’s also kind of fun. Because when you get a breakthrough, you can feel it deep in your bones. Some puzzle piece just fits into place… where once there was a sinkhole now is a smooth road to get you to your goal that much faster.
It is valuable, but it is also worthless if you don’t take action.
If you are waiting to gain more confidence, it will never come.
When I realized that I had kept myself down for YEARS because of some bullsh*t block that said I could never have money because I had love, I was so frustrated and also so relieved. I thought, NOW… NOW the money can come.
That’s what all the experts say, right?
But still it didn’t.
It didn’t because I didn’t act.
Whatever goal you have, you have take a step and then another. As you act, the inspiration comes. I believe this comes from the divine, but you don’t have to believe that. In fact, it doesn’t matter what you believe in, it just matters that you act and that you do it NOW.
Don’t wait to figure out HOW to do something, just do something. And, as you do it, the how will come.